100 Ways to Kill a Doctor: A Simple Mistake
by mariteri
Summary: My answer to the 100 Ways to Kill a Doctor challenge! Needless to say that there will be MAJOR character deaths. Rated T to cover my bases.


**Disclaimer—I do not own The Big Bang Theory or any of its characters. Nor, sadly, do I make any money from the posting of this fanfiction.**

 **Hello everyone! Long time no write. My computer died prematurely and I was left a writer without a word processor or a way to answer reviews (sorry!). An ugly situation let me tell you! Anyway, got a new one now. Here's my answer to the 100 Ways to Kill a Doctor issued by Dsnynutz! Here are the rules for this grand adventure.**

 **Sheldon/Penny—They can be platonic, romantic, smutty, superheroes/villains, etc.**

 **Leonard/Amy's death MAY occur anytime from the Pilot thru Season 9.**

 **The death must be completed in a single chapter, although you are welcome to contribute as many different forms of death as you like as long as they are a chapter each.**

 **The story must be no more than 1,500 words long.**

 **Deadline is October 31, 2015.**

 **There they are! Let me tell you, the amount of editing that took place to get it under 1,500 words was a bear! But I did it. Enjoy.**

 **Please read and review.**

…

 **A Simple Mistake**

Penny and Sheldon sat on the brown leather sofa in Sheldon's apartment, holding each other's hands as they watched the movers working. They had already seen to her apartment two hours before. Since they were both moving to the very same house in Texas, they didn't bother with more than the one truck. It had all been a part of the plan Sheldon came up with at any rate. Penny rested her head on Sheldon's shoulder. Absently, he slipped his arm around her.

The past week had been so far beyond the norm that this small act of kindness on his part wasn't even commented on by Raj or Howard as they joined them.

"Are you sure moving is the best idea?" Howard inquired.

Penny nodded. "If the sheik finds out that he killed the wrong…" She sobbed, turning her face into Sheldon's shoulder as she began to cry again. The tall physicist pulled her onto his lap, cradling her as he was glaring at them for starting her weeping again.

"The Witness Protection Service thinks that this move to Texas is for the best," he said, rubbing her back as he did so. "I wouldn't have to be lying by doing so. And we would have my family around for support."

"If you need anything, anything at all, call us," Raj told them.

Penny got up and rushed over to him, hugging him tightly. Raj hugged her right back, both of them were crying within seconds. She pulled back.

"Stay safe," she breathed. "We'll meet up on Skype, okay?"

He nodded. She kissed his cheek and went over to Howard, hugging him next. Pulling back, she told him, "Tell Bernie I'll text her as soon as I can. Moves…they can be…well, you know."

He nodded to this. She kissed his cheek and drifted back over to the sofa. They watched as Sheldon gave her a hankie and looked over to them.

Getting up, he went over to them. "It's been an honor knowing you both. I will, of course, do my best to keep in contact via Skype, e-mail, and texting. But, in all honesty, I have a hard time believing I'll be able to keep in touch with Howard, as I have him blocked by all those means of communication thanks in part to the copious amount of porn and viruses I've received from him as a result."

"Even on Skype?" Raj breathed, looking to a now blushing Howard.

"It was a prank four Halloweens ago," Sheldon explained. "About the only thing fascinating about it was the fact I didn't know it was possible for a human body to bend in such a way until that moment."

"Double jointed strippers are not as common as you would think. And ones that could do what she did with a ping pong ball?" He shook his head adding, "Sure there are some here in the states, but you have to really hunt them down. Most of the women with that talent are over in the Philippines or Vietnam!"

Howard flinched at Raj's glare and demand of, "What's wrong with you?!"

Their friends left soon thereafter. Penny and Sheldon still had much to do, getting to the airport only being one thing.

It wasn't until they were on the airplane did either of them think over everything that had happened in the past week. Leonard had called in sick from work on Monday. Sheldon, not wanting to be around him least he catch the stomach bug Leonard had, went to work with Raj. Leonard had tried to get Penny to stay at his apartment to take care of him. He was being even clingier than before he was ill—and that had been bad enough with him wanting to spend every free moment together. Penny had offered to make him soup, but had a last minute shift at work when one of the other waitresses called in sick.

She had called Amy and had asked her to take the soup over to Leonard as a favor for her. Amy jumped at the chance to help out her bestie and went straight over to her apartment, using the key that she had copied for just such an emergency—or at least was that what she had told Penny when she was telling Amy about the emergency key over at Leonard and Sheldon's apartment.

"O-kay," Penny said slowly, clearly creeped out. "The soup is on the stove. Thanks for doing this! I would have asked Sheldon to take the soup over, but he was being his usual self, you know?"

Of course Amy knew. Sheldon was practically her fiancée after all!

Everything had happened so quickly. Or that was what the police figured out. Amy had gone over, gotten the soup and was heating it up at Leonard and Sheldon's when they had come to the apartment. Men dressed in expensively tailored suits is what their neighbors who had caught glimpses of them had said. There was arguing in Arabic, which in turn got Leonard out of bed to see what was happening. Silence was followed by a thud and then a scream.

It had been Ralph, one of the newest tenants on the second floor that saw the two men leaving—one of them carrying a limp Amy over his shoulder. Uniformed officers found Leonard in the living room decapitated.

Sheldon arrived at the police station in time to hear Penny yelling denials. He went rushing off in a frantic search of Penny and found her just as she was starting to look ill. He ran over and provided her with a trashcan he had picked up, but stepped well away from her once she started to wretch. Soon enough she was sobbing and dry heaving. Sheldon went to her side, his shirt covering up his face, as he took her into his arms awkwardly and tried his best to assure her.

"There, there," he said. "Sheldon's here."

"Oh Sheldon!" She dropped the trashcan, wrapping her arms around him and made him flinch as she did so. "Leonard! Oh god! Leonard!" She pulled back sobbing, as she tried to tell him, "Amy…Amy…"

Confused he looked over to the police detectives who were watching them intensely. "What's going on? What happened to Leonard and Amy?

That's when the questioning began. And no matter how many times he answered the questions, he kept telling them exactly what happened and when it occurred. Sheldon's eidetic memory was explained and verified, as was his complete inability to lie.

When they were about to show the picture of Leonard to him, it was Penny who put her foot down.

"No!" She looked over to Sheldon. "You'd be haunted by that picture the rest of your life. And as bad as it is for me, it would be worse for you. My mind…I have the hope of forgetting…You never will."

Swallowing thickly, he breathed, "But, Penny, I have to."

"I've identified him. That should be enough." She looked to the detectives. "Shouldn't it?"

It wasn't. He saw it. And aside from saying that the dead man in the picture was Leonard, Sheldon stopped talking for three days.

As for Amy, it was verified by the State Department that she had been taken to Saudi Arabia and promptly stoned to death for infidelity. When Sheldon and Penny heard this, they almost immediately knew what had happened. Amy's fiancée must have discovered that Sheldon and Amy had been dating. And as innocent as their courtship was, he didn't like it. It had been a series of mistakes, resulting in Leonard's end instead of Sheldon's. The FBI were called in and they decided he should be moved for his own safety.

Sheldon was blaming himself for his roommate being murdered, because he had the bad luck of being sick. And Penny was blaming herself for Amy's abduction even if the others were telling her not to. Her former fiancée's men would have found a way to get to her! This just happened to be the time they did. Penny tried calling her parents, both being very unsympathetic.

Penny hung up on her father and ended up searching out Sheldon only to find him in her own kitchen. He blinked at her, pleading in his eyes as he stood there not knowing what to do.

"I can't go back to Nebraska. I just can't!"

He rushed over to her, taking her into his arms. "You're coming with me to Texas. We both can start over there."

And so they did.

But the one question that never was cleared up was how the sheik ever found out about Amy dating Sheldon at all. Some debated as to the sheik having a P.I. that let him know, but in the end the question was simply forgotten—just as Penny and Sheldon had planned when they sent the photos of Leonard and Amy to the sheik anonymously several weeks before.

 **The End!**

 **…**

 **Wow. What a trip! Hope that you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and I will do my best to get back to you guys if and when you review. Take care and have yourself a lovely day.**


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